7/10/98 at the Breakroom in Seattle
7/11/98 at the Doublewide in Bellingham
text by:  Michelle Smith & Helen Halloran
photos by:  Helen Halloran

Helen - The scariest band in the world came to town a few days ago.  Oooh.  I don't know how I survived to tell the tale, but I actually went to two of their shows and lived to tell about it.  Michelle -  When I heard that Deadbolt was coming to town, I had myself a kanipchin fit.   I have a special place in my heart for these men as they were the only people to truly befriend me and my roommate Stasea when we lived in Ocean Beach, San Diego, CA.  Memories of cocktail waitressing a stag party at Disgraceland (their pad in Pacific Beach,) karaoke with Harley Davidson, and drinking Jim Beam and Dr. Pepper at one of the world's coolest bars, Pacific Shores, flooded my brain.  Most other folk were frightened.  So, I guess it took the scariest band in the world to have no fear of us.

Helen - I just love these guys!  I'd seen them before a couple of years ago, but this time I got to meet them, thanks to Michelle who used to pal around with them in San Diego, as mentioned above.  I wouldn't want to ruin their reps, but these guys are super sweet!  Don't tell them I said this though!

Michelle - All Friday I sat at my office wondering why in the hell I hadn't heard from the boys.  No messages, nada.  I faxed a message to the Breakroom, still not a peep.  I was sad.  However, as we drive up to the club I spot Mr. Harley Davidson (guitar and vocals) on a pay phone and jump outta the moving vehicle with a tuck and a roll and get some big huggin'!  He puts us on the list!  Les Vegas, (bam-bam) claimed he tried to call but kept getting an "out of order."  Seems he had my phone number from when I lived in Olympia in 1968.  (Yes I moved to Oly when I was 3 to be a riot grrl, but they wouldn't let me play tambourine for Bikini Kill, so I moved to Cheyenne Wyoming to learn horse rustling.)   As I snuggled up to Les, R.A. McLean (bass) gave me a hearty welcome by kicking me in the ass.

Helen - Deadbolt has one of the best shticks of any band I've seen.  Using power tools, horror movie props, and just plain good 'ole fashioned scary surf music, these guys really know how to put on a show.  Michelle -  In addition to superlative musicianship, Deadbolt rival Kiss for their stage antics.  They wear pistol holsters to carry their beer, Les does a masterful snake charm dance, and they decapitate Teva wearing hippies from the audience using an electric saw.  Any man in sandals is at risk of being harangued.

Michelle -   The opening act was so bad, I can't remember their name and that sucks because want to avoid them like the plague.  Helen - Good for them, as they won't be defamed in this e-zine!  Michelle - The second band, Black Market Babies, looked like scrappy youngsters but they surprised me by playing a glam punk set worthy of musicians twice their age.  They covered the New York Dolls! Still, they in no way complemented Deadbolt's eerie surf sound.  Who the heck books these incompatible messes?

Michelle - The trio did all the hits from their four records; "Tiki Man," "Tijuana Hit Squad," Voodoo Billy Man," and "Zulu Death Mask."  During "Who the Hell is Mrs. Valdez," the crowd sung along with the chorus but no one revealed Mrs. Valdez's identity and I am still perplexed!  Whenever I see this dynamic trio my mouth hurts for days, not from giving head, but from shit eating grinning.  I was surprised to learn that Les has been taking some long distance Swahili language courses and is now quite fluent.  He manages to spout out some crazy shit during "Zulu Death Mask," the title cut off the new album on Cargo Records.  I think he is telling all the African natives that the mask made him break out as his skin is too sensitive.  Try clay next time buddy!
Helen - Deadbolt features Les Vegas on drums (above with snake,) Harley Davidson on guitar, and R.A. MaClean on bass.  Their vocals are what really set them apart from most other surfy-garage bands.  While other bands fuss around with actual singers, Deadbolt prefer to read their lyrics about Tiki Men and Zulu Death Masks with a dead pan monotone that goes perfectly with their music.  They truly are the scariest band in the world!  Long haired sandal wearing people beware - no one is safe from the wrath of Harley Davidson and his army of pompadored Frankenstein worshipers.

Helen - I love these guys so much, I went to see them again, in Bellingham with Michelle.  We hooked up with my friends Dave & Julia (who own & operate Eclipse Bookstore up in Bellingham) and had a great time up there!

Michelle - The next night in Bellingham the crowd was a bit sparse... unlike the Seattle show that was packed.  Helen - Opening the show were The Arch Villains from Olympia, Washington.  Michelle - They wore cheap suits and ski masks, and sounded almost note for note like the Mummies.  Loud, obnoxious 60's garage punk.  Helen - These guys totally entertained and cracked everyone in the club up!  And they're not even 21 years old yet!  Imagine what kind of craziness these guys have yet to conjure up!

 Helen - Near the end of the set, the lead singer set his crotch on fire!  Is that insane or what!  Their sound was a throw back to the hey-day of Northwest rock & roll, the days of the Sonics, the Wailers & the Galaxies.  Only I bet they didn't light their body parts on fire!  These guys rock - too bad the club owners didn't let them stay and watch the headliners!  Oh well.  Hopefully these kids will be around to raise hell for years to come!

Michelle - My favorite tune was "We hate Your Ugly Face." The lead singer stomped on his keyboard and it fell off the stage.  He was crazed...  Helen - His keyboard stand was broken to begin with, so he was having a hard time keeping that thing where he wanted it from the get-go!  Michelle - Come to find out these kiddies have no idea who their influences are - The Sonics, Hasil Adkins, and the infamous bands from the Nuggets 60's Punk compilation.  I flirted with the idea of making them a tape, but then their innocence would vanish and they would end up being too cool like Mudhoney or something.  Yikes.

Michelle - As for Deadbolt, their Bellingham set was almost as satisfying as the previous evening's except that it was a tad shorter.  However, they made up for it by doing "Patches the Clown," a favorite of the audience and especially of Helen's friend Dave.  Helen, Bellingham's foxiest momma Julia, and I shook our fannies at the front o' the stage.  Deadbolt were a bit perturbed that some loser guy shot silly string at them while they were executing their stage show.  R.A. was mighty pissed and threatened to beat the fellow senseless.  I would have punched him too had not I been drinking 2 fisted.  Helen - Aw, c'mon Michelle, YOU shot your share of silly string at the Sluts for Hire show, if I remember correctly!

Michelle - If you haven't seen Deadbolt you should really check them out.  It is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.  Just make sure you don't show your toes.  Helen - Or bring silly string!


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